There are five hot buttons included in our online Hot Button test:Conflict Dynamics Profiles, Training and Workshops at Talent Tools

  • Abrasive

  • Aloof

  • Self-Centered

  • Unappreciative

  • Untrustworthy

These are but a subset of the total Hot Button test included in the Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) so you may have other hot buttons as well.

In addition to hot buttons the CDP provides a comprehensive overview of both constructive and destructive responses to conflict as well as organisational perspectives on conflict behaviours. We invite you to learn more about the CDP instrument, reports and training.

Below you will find information about your particular hot button, and how to cool it. This information is taken from the book, Managing Conflict Dynamics-A Practical Approach, which comes with the CDP. and provides practical advice for how to deal more effectively with conflict.

Your hot button is SELF-CENTERED

Egotists do not see the world with themselves in it, but see themselves with the world around them. Herbert Samuel

People who are self-centered believe they are always correct, act like "know-it-alls," and generally put themselves first. Given their focus on themselves, self-centered individuals may be quite insensitive to others. They may not recognise that others need or desire to participate. They may be unaware that their belief that they are always correct implies that others are always wrong, and that such an attitude can be hurtful or insulting.

While frustrating to work with, there is one potential benefit to being around the self-centered. Because they do often know a lot and share their knowledge so readily, you can learn much from them. Take what you can get.

Cooling Strategies

Begin with Reflection Questions.
  • Why is the self-centered Button Hot for me rather than Cool?
  • The next time my self-centered Hot Button is pushed, how do I want to feel? How do I want to respond?
  • Why might the self-centered person be acting this way (anxiety, insecurity, self-doubt, etc.)?
  • In what alternative ways do I want the self-centered button pusher to behave?
  • Given my understanding of my self-centered Hot Button and the button pusher, which Cooling Strategies would be most useful? Make self-centered individuals more amenable to others' input.
  • Acknowledge their experience and insight.
  • Express appreciation for their willingness to share information and teach others.
  • Seek their advice occasionally.
     

Don't be a victim.

  • Do your homework. Be prepared and knowledgeable.
  • Request they share recognition. Highlight the benefits for everyone by doing so.
  • When necessary, showcase your productivity and contributions.
     

When self-centered colleagues are wrong:

  • Do not directly refute what they say, as that might be seen as a challenge.
  • Use questions to lead them to discover problems or flaws in their plan.


If a self-centered person's insensitivity is hurtful or interfering with your ability to participate, calmly yet directly address the problem.

  • Acknowledge his/her input and insight.
  • Emphasise that you wish to contribute.
  • If interrupted, firmly state: "You interrupted me," then continue.


Be a role model.

  • Put others first.
  • Listen more than you talk.
  • Be encouraging and supportive of others.


Dynamic Fact: According to our research, people with a self-centered Hot Button tend to respond to conflict by displaying anger and demeaning others.

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