10 Conflict Resolution Mistakes To Avoid
Conventional wisdom (and research) says that good communication can improve relationships, increasing intimacy, trust and support. The converse is also true: poor communication can weaken bonds, creating mistrust and even contempt!
Here are some examples of negative and even destructive attitudes and communication patterns that can exacerbate conflict in a relationship.
Any of these sound familiar?
This seems to be the less stressful route—avoiding an argument altogether—but usually causes more stress to both parties, as tensions rise, resentments fester, and a much bigger argument eventually results. It's much healthier to address and resolve conflict..
Denying responsibility may seem to alleviate stress in the short run, but creates long-term problems when partners don’t feel listened to and unresolved conflicts and continue to grow.
Avoid starting sentences with, “You always…” and “You never…”, as in, “You always come home late!” or “You never do what I want to do!” Stop and think about whether or not this is really true. Also, don’t bring up past conflicts to throw the discussion off-topic and stir up more negativity. This stands in the way of true conflict resolution, and increases the level of conflict..
5. "Psychoanalyzing" / Mind-Reading:
This creates hostility and misunderstandings.
Instead, try to view conflict as an opportunity to analyse the situation objectively, assess the needs of both parties and come up with a solution that helps you both.
The point of a relationship discussion should be mutual understanding and coming to an agreement or resolution that respects everyone’s needs. If you’re making a case for how wrong the other person is, discounting their feelings, and staying stuck in your point of view, your focused in the wrong direction!
This creates negative perceptions on both sides. Remember to respect the person, even if you don’t like the behavior.
This shows disrespect and, in certain situations, even contempt, while at the same time letting the underlying conflict grow. Stonewalling solves nothing, but creates hard feelings and damages relationships. It’s much better to listen and discuss things in a respectful manner.
Would minimalising negative conflict help your relationshis, business or organisation? Contact Talent Tools to make start making a positive difference now. Email us or call 61 7 3103 0177