There are five hot buttons included in our online Hot Button test:Conflict Dynamics Profiles, Training and Workshops at Talent Tools

  • Abrasive

  • Aloof

  • Self-Centered

  • Unappreciative

  • Untrustworthy

These are but a subset of the total Hot Button test included in the Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) so you may have other hot buttons as well.

In addition to hot buttons the CDP provides a comprehensive overview of both constructive and destructive responses to conflict as well as organisational perspectives on conflict behaviours. We invite you to learn more about the CDP instrument, reports and training.

Below you will find information about your particular hot button, and how to cool it. This information is taken from the book, Managing Conflict Dynamics-A Practical Approach, which comes with the CDP. and provides practical advice for how to deal more effectively with conflict.

Your hot button is UNAPPRECIATIVE

The best definition of man is: an ungrateful biped. Fyodor Dostoevski

One of the most distressing situations in the workplace is dealing with people who are unappreciative of others. Such people fail to praise, reward effort, or offer encouragement. In their view, workers are doing what they should be doing and therefore don't require gratitude. Some unappreciative people may even go in the other direction and become overly critical. While their intention may be to motivate better job performance, what they might not understand is that people need praise, attention, and recognition to do their jobs well.

It is difficult to gain an understanding of the quality of your work and your place in the organiSation when you receive little recognition, few rewards, and no praise. One attribute you might be gaining, though, is self-sufficiency and independence. No one knows better than you what your work and efforts have been. Rely on yourself for your rewards.

Cooling Strategies

Begin with Reflection Questions.
  • Why is the unappreciative Button Hot for me rather than Cool?
  • The next time my unappreciative Hot Button is pushed, how do I want to feel? How do I want to respond?
  • Why might the unappreciative person be acting this way (unaware of importance of appreciation, feels gratitude is unnecessary, unreasonably high expectations, etc.)?
  • Have my efforts and contributions to this organization been worthy of praise, rewards, and appreciation?
  • In what alternative ways do I want the unappreciative button pusher to behave?
  • Given my understanding of my unappreciative Hot Button and the button pusher, which Cooling Strategies would be most useful?


Explain that an expression of appreciation:

  • Is important to you.
  • Aids you in measuring your progress.
  • Motivates you to improve.


Look beyond the unappreciative person.

  • Start a "Mutual Admiration Society." Develop a network of co-workers who reward and appreciate each other.
  • Suggest organiSational-level rewards, such as an "Employee of the Month" parking space.


"If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one" (Mark Twain). Appreciate and reward yourself when you:

  • Achieve goals.
  • Take risks.
  • Learn something new.
  • Meet challenges.Exceed expectations.


Be a role model.

  • Reward hard work.
  • Acknowledge loyalty.

Express gratitude for effort.

Dynamic Fact: Nearly 80% of those we surveyed said they were moderately to extremely upset when working with someone who does not reward hard work.

Go to our blog